Friday, March 27, 2009

Stupid Sports Sayings

Lately I have been hearing some sayings being over used by announcers and broadcasters alike that have really started to bother me.  I guess that since it's March Madness people feel the need to use the term Cinderella on every underdog that wins a game.  Let me say this right now, a team needs to win more than 1 game in the NCAA tournament to be a Cinderella.  Cinderella had until midnight ok she didn't have until 9 o'clock.  So let's just stop that nonsense right now.  As for some other sayings that need to go, well here they are:

Referring to Someone's Game as Sexy

This is the lamest, and yes I'm going to say it gayest, saying out there.  How can an athlete's game be sexy?  I heard a debate over DeJuan Blair of the Pittsburgh Panthers and the analyst said that his game wasn't "sexy" enough.  How the hell can his game be sexy?  It makes no sense to use that word over the limitless other, more appropriate words, such as impressive, entertaining, aesthetically unpleasing, or how about good/bar.  These are all better choices and don't make you sound like a douche bag. 

Pick Six

This is what analysts and broadcasters call an interception returned for a touchdown in the NFL. Lame ass name I know but for some reason they all use it and think it's the greatest thing since calling an athletes performance sexy.  How about using the more logical, and comical, choice of touchdown after interception or T.A.I.N.T.  This is much lamer to say if you simply say touchdown after interception and is also hilarious as TAINT is a funny word.  I know you're laughing right now just reading it.

Describing a Player as a Gamer

This is used as a term to describe players who show up to big games and really give it 100% aka do their jobs.  Why not simply say the guy tries hard?  Why is there this incessant need to make up lingo for every type of player in the league.  "Oh LeBron James is such a gamer."  No he's not. He is a clutch player who tries hard all the time.  Just say so.

Changing of the Guard

I understand.  Sometimes when an older player is head to head against a younger player is signifies a change or evolution in the sport that is monumental but must it be cheapened by using the same cliche line 20 times?  In the summer I watched Roger Federer play Rafael Nadal at Wimbledon and must have been informed that it was a changing of the guard no less than 15 times.  Just say this is an important match in tennis history maybe give some insight and then move on.  Do not simply repeat the same sentence over and over again. 

"On the Button"

A Joe Rogan special as whenever anyone gets knocked out in the UFC you can be sure that they were hit directly "on the button."  Now I know not much more can be expected of Joe Rogan because he is a talentless hack but I mean there has to be something else to say.  Watching a Best UFC Knockouts special the other day I was treated to 60 minutes of men getting clocked on the button and of the maybe 35 knockouts shown the phrase was used over 57 times (I counted).  Needs to go.

The Word Heroic

I love sports as much as the next guy (well obviously more cause I blog about it) but I have yet to see in my lifetime an athlete put on a performance I would call heroic.  I have seen players have legendary performances and have seen some of the biggest moments in sports history but you can not tell me that Levance Fields hitting a late 3 pointer against Xavier was "heroic."  It was impressive and it was clutch.  I don't want to take anything away from the guy but he isn't a hero.  Superman is a hero.  Last time I checked Levance Fields wasn't saving people from burning buildings or stopping Lex Luthor from destroying Metropolis.  

These are only a few that I could think of but I am sure there are many more that I am forgetting but are just as bad.  Feel free to share them and I will try to update this post to include your submissions.

Random Youtube Video (Kicked in the Penis Kid Makes a Return)


BC-Leafs said...

Pick Six is pretty gay.

But as for the rest, you're just upset that your game isn't heroic or sexy. Joe Rogan should change the guard and punch you on the button

JC SportsBlogger said...

hahaha best comment ever