Thursday, October 1, 2009

Clusterf*ck in the Desert

With the NHL season set to start this weekend 29 teams are ready to begin their quest for the Stanley Cup. Yes I know there are 30 teams in the league but if you think the Phoenix Coyotes have any plans on winning anything this year you are an idiot. Not only is their roster filled with dusters and unproven youngsters but they don't even have an owner.

The Phoenix Coyotes have become one of the saddest stories in sports. The fact that this team has been operating without an owner for the past few months is ridiculous. Add to this the fact that the head coach quit 10 days before the season and you have yourself a clusterf*uck of epic proportions.

The whole problem started when Jerry Moyes decided to needed to sell the team and sold it to Jim Balisllie. Balsillie bought the team and immediately planned to move the franchise to Southern Ontario.

Enter Gary Bettman and the NHL who took legal action to stop Balsillie. A long and confusing legal battle ensued concluding today with a judge ruling that Balsilli couldn't move the team. Problem solved right? Wrong.

While Balsillie can't buy and move the team the NHL can't buy the team either, at least not with their current offer. The offer needs to be improved and a whole bunch of other requirements need to be met in order for the sale to be finalized. All of this to keep hockey in Phoenix.

So as of right now the Phoenix Coyotes are owned by no one. How embarrassing. Things couldn't get worse though.

Enter Wayne Gretzky and his giant ego. Now before I tell you what Gretzky did I need to mention that he is one of the worst head coaches in the NHL and yet he gets paid $8 million a season. At that salary he is the highest paid coach in the NHL and 3rd highest in North American professional sports. You would think with that salary that he would stay with the team and be a rock through the troubled times (also he is a part owner) but instead he bailed...hard.

Last week Gretzky resigned and chose not to coach because he wasn't sure if he was gong to be getting paid, like he doesn't have enough money already. Show some class jerk off.

So now the team has no owner and with less than a week before the season starts no coach. So Dave Tippett was hired. By who I do not know seeing as the team has no owner. So Tippett has one week to get his team organized and ready to play hockey. Good luck my friend.

Beyond the problem with the lack of ownership and the fact that the head coach has known his players for less than two weeks there is one glaring concern I have with the Coyotes. Who is paying the bills?

Who is paying to keep the lights on in the Arena (top 5 worst arena name in sports)? Who is paying for the hockey tape, the sticks, the goalie equipment, the zamboni, and the employees who sell beer and jerseys? All of these costs are covered by the owner but the Coyotes don't have an owner.

Is the team running on IOUs?

The whole situation in Phoenix has gotten so bad that it is starting to become material for Leno, Conan, and Letterman. Gary Bettman has royally screwed everything up and has made the NHL look like an even bigger joke than usual. I understand you can't have people buying teams and moving them wherever they want but hockey is a dead market in Phoenix and a thriving one in Southern Ontario. It makes so much sense.

I for one feel bad for every member of the Coyotes team, every person who depends on a paycheck from Moyes and the Coyotes organization and of course the few fans the team may have.

Hopefully this can get resolved as soon as possible and the Coyotes can get back to business as usual, losing hockey games.

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