Thursday, February 11, 2010

Drunken Ramblings of an Idiot


Last night I went out to the bar for my roommates birthday. The drinks were flowing and the live music was so I was having a really good time. Then some douchebag Jays fan, who couldn't hold his liquor, started talking to me and completely shit on my night. The conversation went something like this,

Douchebag - Did you hear about the Jays getting Kevin Gregg?

Me - Anytime you can get a guy with a career 4.10 ERA for $2.75 million you gotta do it.

Douchebag - Who do you cheer for?

Me - The RedSox.

Douchebag - Anytime you can sign Jonothan Papelbon to a longterm deal you gotta do it. Anaheim Angels!

Me - World Series title and when was the last time your team made the playoffs?

Basically the conversation went on like that for some time. He brought up points such as "Ortiz is fat and old, Papelbon sucks and who trades Manny?" Then I responded with, "haven't made the playoffs since 93, your staff "ace" is Rickey Romero and who trades Roy Halladay?"

Never before have I wanted to punch someone in the face more. I mean I know most sports fans are morons and biased idiots but to be a Jays fan and openly chirp the Boston RedSox is a whole new low? It would be like Senegal giving Canada a hard time. The Jays/Senegal are a 3rd world/rate team where as Canada/RedSox are a prosperous nation/team.

Say otherwise and you immediately label yourself an idiot.

The Blue Jays are one of the most irrelevant teams in MLB. They never make the playoffs and are more talked about for the awful contracts that they have doled out (see Vernon Wells, BJ Ryan and Alex Rios) than for their accomplishments on the field.

The RedSox on the other hand are constantly in the playoffs and are one of the most beloved franchises in all of sports. Yes their payroll is in the top 5 in MLB but does a high payroll always equal success and furthermore should a teams accomplishments be diminished simply because the owners spend money?

To me when I hear Jays fans talk about payroll all I hear is jealousy. Jays fans only wish that their deep pocketed owners cared enough about the team to spend more money. The lack of money spent by Rogers on the Blue Jays should be a sign to fans that the company doesn't see it as a valuable investment. To put it simply Rogers knows the Jays suck and are worthless so should the fans.

This is why I will never be a Jays fan. I would not want to lump myself in with all the other morons who know nothing about baseball. There is nothing wrong with being a loyal fan but you have to be realistic. The Jays play in the toughest division in baseball and do not have the talent to compete with the RedSox/Yankees/Rays, that is just a fact. If they spent more money, properly, then they could compete. But since they refuse to do that they are stuck in a cycle of mediocrity from which they will never escape.

But I digress.

This douchebag from the bar turned out to be a friend of a friend so he was in our group as we were walking home from the bar. The whole time I was looking at him with such hatred and I knew that if he continued with us for much longer I would eventually punch him in the face and spit on his Jays hat as it was dislodged from his head.

Then fate intervened.

My roommates, whose birthday we were out celebrating, started wrestling with his friend (this guy was friends with the douchebag). The second they started wrestling the douchebag gets this spooked look in his eyes and literally starts sprinting away as if he was being chased by a murdered. I have never seen anyone run away from a physical confrontation so fast in my entire life, he would have made any Frenchmen proud.

What made it even more enjoyable was that I later learned he ran because he was afraid he was going to get beaten up. This may have been a legitimate concern had anyone actually been fighting. They were just messing around and it was all in good fun. The Jays fan is just a massive pussy and got the hell out of there like George did at the birthday party when he thought there was a fire.

Random YouTube Video

2 comments:

Steve said...

Shut up idiot.. you'll be the first person to cheer for the jays when the start getting better....in 2099

Steve said...

they*