Well this is officially the 100th post of the blog. It all started in the summer of 2008 when I worked at Aviva Canada and a serious lack of work, and more importantly supervision, afforded me far too much free time. It was on a boring day in my cubicle where I was reading SI.com that I began to feel the need to write my opinions. Sports seemed like the only thing I could write about as it is the only subject that I felt merited my genius.
I feel that this monumental moment merits some sort of celevration. I think I should do something to commemorate my online ranting career and so in honor of myself I have decided to create some awards and hand them out as best I see fit. Sort of like a Sports Informer Oscars except it won't be rigged, seriously Wall-E over Kung Fu Panda I mean COME ON its robbery! So without further delay here are some of the awards I have come up with on the spot as I am typing this now.
Favorite Article Title
A lot of work goes into making the clever title names for what I write and I like to think they are what bring the 10s of people back to continue reading what I write. I have quite a few favorites and this was actually pretty tough but my all-time favorite is "Why Nik Antropov Sucks." This killer title is straight to the point and even if a reader decides to skip it they still know where I stand on the Kazakhstani Dream Killer (as I am now referring to him).
Best Poll Question
This is a legitimate tie. Over the past 2 weeks I have run two different polls in which my choice has won. Now I know that seems awful suspicious and you will accuse me of rigging it but in my defense...blow me.
Over the past two weeks I have learned that the people that read this blog feel that Mark Ruffalo is a better actor than Clive Owen (thank god) and that Natalie Portman is hotter than Anne Hathaway.
This tells me that the people who read my blog are 1. Intelligent 2. Not Blind and 3. Have good taste. Thank you to everyone who voted and help me rub it in the face of my roommate and now 2 week consecutive loser Ryan Wycherley.
p.s. In order to avoid further embarrassment Ryan has sided with me on the current Mortal Kombat vs. Street Fighter poll.
Favorite Reader
This was a tough choice as there were like 6 people to choose from and not because I narrowed it down but because legitimately only 6 people visit this site and read my articles daily. However after some serious deliberation I am awarding this prestigious award to the one, the only, Stephen Draper aka Draper the Raper. Draper is consistently commenting on all of my articles and although he comes off like an inbred hick with a 4th grade vocabulary it is still nice to see he takes the time out of his day to chime in.
Thanks Drapes!
Seriously though he is a great guy...even though he cheers for the Sabres and the Braves.
Biggest Man Crush Developed
Since I started the site I have started watching and reading more about sports than ever before and due to this I have developed a serious man crush that some of my friends give me a hard time about. That man is Bill Simmons.
Bill Simmons is what I aspire to be in life. Pending the looks of his wife he has the perfect life. He works for ESPN. His podcast consists of him calling his friends and just talking about sports. His podcast is sponsored by Subway which if you know me you know I love Subway. He is a RedSox fan. He has seasons tickets to the Clippers (I don't like the Clippers but seasons tickets are seasons tickets) and last but not least he makes tonnes of money doing all this.
So jest all you want but Bill Simmons is a sick man crush.
Best Compliment
Now everyday I get compliments from readers that email me personally asking if I will be their child's Godfather or marry their daughter and it's all nice but there is one compliment that has stuck with me and has urged me on. There are some nights when it's 3am and I will think 'oh shit I forgot to write an article' and instead of simply going to bed this compliment makes me get up and bang out some genius.
The winner is Joshua A. Acheson with this bombshell that would get Vince Lombardi to try harder "the only things I know about sports is from your blog." Give me a few seconds while I wipe away the tears. It's just so touching.
Favorite Youtube Video Used
I only recently started using Youtube videos at the end of my articles but it has quickly become one of my favorite parts about updating the site. I have used some of my all-time favorites so far but this one is by far my favorite:
Did you see when the kid got kicked in the head and it made the dying noise from Street Fighter? Hilarious
Best Article
This was a tough category because everything I write is a masterpiece but I feel like the best thing I have ever written, and put the most work into, was an article I wrote on my "Conspiracy Theory" about stars of Minnesota sports team being taken away by Boston Sports teams. In the article I bring up how Kevin Garnett, David Ortiz, and Randy Moss were all stars on a Minnesota sports team but left and won championships with a Boston Sports team.
It was something that had never really occurred to me until I sat down and thought it through at which point it blew my mind. Unfortunately Marion Gaborik didn't leave the Minnesota Wild and complete my theory but still its impressive.
The article combines humor and truth and was said to be the, "greatest sports article ever written" by, well no one but still I thought it was good.
Thank you to everyone out there who made these 100 posts possible and not a complete waste of time.
Random Youtube Video
3 comments:
You forgot an award. To steal a line from your mancrush, "The Award for Blowhard of the Year goes to"... James Choleras.
You were also nominated in the following categories: Most Biased Article, Worst Grammar/Editing, Oldest Jason Kidd Jersey, Most Times Voted for One Poll Question, Best Spoken Word Album and Most Number of Times Switching Between Speaking to the Reader and Some Athlete Who Will Never Read the Article.
All in all, a good year.
^ snap.
Draper > Clive Owen > Mark Ruffalo > JC Sports Blogger
Well first and foremost I would like to thank James Choleras for making this award possible. If he wasn't so wrong on such a regular basis, I wouldn't continuously have something to say about his articles. And Finally, I would like to thank Bryan Cruse for...well...just being Bryan Cruse!
Oh, and don't feel bad Ryan, I am also a two week in a row loser on the poll. I voted for Clive Owen because Mark Ruffalo is a twat and had a role in that awful movie Last Castle, and I voted for Anne Hathaway because I don't find Natalie Portman all that attractive. I mean, she isn't ugly, I would do her, but she isn't anything to write home about. And to all those who voted for Portman, I suggest you go out and rent Havoc. It might change your mind about Miss Ella Enchanted.
Well I think the academy is trying to tell me to wrap up my speech, so in short, Keep doing what you're doing Choleras.
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