Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Conspiracy Theory


Readers I believe that I, James Choleras, have unearthed one of the greatest sports conspiracies of all time and against my better judgement I am going to share my theory with you.  I don't care if it puts me in serious danger because this needs to get out.  Ok are you ready?  The city of Boston is stealing all of the city of Minnesota's big sports stars and winning championships with them.

That's right.  Boston is stealing from Minnesota and no one is doing anything to stop it.  The city of Boston has become the most successful sports city in North America by taking the best talent Minnesota sports teams have and making it their own.  I know you are sitting there saying James what the hell are you talking about?  Well let me lay it out for you case by case.

Case #1 David Ortiz

In 2002 David Ortiz played for the Minnesota Twins and hit 20 HR with 75 RBI.  After the Twins lost in the playoffs Ortiz was subsequently released.   During the offseason he was quickly signed by the red Sox.  The next season he hit 31 HR and had 101 RBI and became an instant star in the MLB.  The following season the Red Sox, led by David Ortiz and his post-season heroics, won their first World Series and lifted the curse of the Bambino.  In the playoffs, Ortiz hit .400 with 5 home runs and 19 RBI.  Since then Ortiz has been the hero of the team and has brought the Red Sox into an unprecedented age of prosperity.  

Case # 2 Randy Moss

Randy Moss was drafted by the Minnesota Vikings in 1998 and spent 6 great years with the Vikings eventually becoming one of, if not the, best receivers in the NFL.    However after not making the Super Bowl Moss angrily left the team and tested the free agency market where he eventually landed in Oakland.  In Oakland he felt that he was underutilized and realized that the Raiders sucked so he looked for greener pastures.  He would find his home in New England and upon teaming with Tom Brady broke the record for most touchdown passes in a single season with 22.  He would also be a part of the first team to go 16-0 in the regular season.  While New England won their championships before Moss they never went 16-0.  Also if Tom Brady hadn't gone down in week 1 they would have had a shot at the SuperBowl this year.

Case # 3 Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett was the Minnesota Timberwolves.  He was drafted by them 5th overall in the 1995 draft and spent most of his career there being named an All-star numerous times and even leading them to the post season a few times.   However he couldn't waste away in Minnesota so what did he do?  He jumped ship and went to the Celtics and in his first season there brought the city its first NBA championship since 1986.  While the Celtics did have Paul Pierce and Ray Allen Garnett was clearly the heart and soul of that team and the piece needed to win.  

After looking at these 3 cases can anyone deny that Boston uses Minnesota as a development city then just takes their best players.  Case #4 is on the way too as Marion Gaborik of the Minnesota Wild is a UFA (Unrestricted Free Agent) at the end of the season and would be a perfect fit for the Bruins who look like a favorite to win the Stanley Cup this year.   

The conspiracy is out there now.  Be careful.

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