Thursday, January 14, 2010

Annoying Fans

On Tuesday night I went to the Leafs game with my buddy Mako. The Leafs ended up losing the game to the Carolina Hurricanes 3-2 but that isn't important. What is important is how badly I wanted to punch every fan sitting around us in the face. Never before have I been surrounded by so many fan stereotypes at once.

To our right was the boyfriend/girlfriend combo where the guy was trying to explain the rules of hockey to his girl even though he doesn't know them. This particular combo was made extra annoying because they always came back from intermission late and forced us to stand up and miss parts of the game so they could get by. I have no problem with this in baseball but at a hockey game where a goal can be scored in 2 seconds I don't like missing the action.

At one point his girlfriend asked him why the ref blew the whistle (it was because of an icing call) and he explained, "the teams needed to change lines." Come on man. If you don't know the rules don't just make them up like that. Had his girlfriend been hot I may have called him out in front of her but I didn't wanna salt his game.

To our left was the always present father/son combo that gets way too excited over the smallest events in the game and speak only in superlatives such as "that was the greatest save ever!" This was the kids first Leaf game and needless to say he was pumped. He was constantly pointing things out inside the arena to his dad that were clearly obvious to anyone with a set of eyes. He also was fond of pointing out where every event inside the arena that was on the Jumbotron during intermission was taking place.

He did have the best line of the night however when he asked his dad, "how come the banners stop at 67?" That one made me laugh.

In front of us was the family of 3 with a husband/wife/son combo. The father of this particular group was a massive douche that had a few too many beers and ended the night by throwing food at another guy in our section and then giving him shit when the guy gave him a dirty look. Not kidding this. This man started throwing popcorn at his wife and kid and missed a few times and hit this random stranger in the face and when the guy gave him a dirty look the father gave him this look like 'what the fuck is your problem?'

This guy was a real douche and got drunker as the game went on and started throwing out terrible chirps in a failed attempt to be funny.

Right behind us was the always present female fan that knows nothing about the sport. Her job for the evening was yelling, "SHOOT!" every time a Leaf player touched the puck while on the powerplay. Needless to say I wanted to kick her in ovaries.

I have never hated a fan at a sporting event more than I hated this woman. Granted the Leafs are notorious for passing too much on their powerplay but she would yell it EVERYTIME someone touched the puck. Not just sometimes but everytime. Obviously she was tremendously disappointed when the Leafs didn't score on the powerplay and felt that if only they had taken her advice they would have won the game.

This woman almost ruined my night and also confirmed why I hate going to sporting events with women.

In front of us and to the right was the pair of old timers who felt the need to chirp everyone and everything they could with such lame burns as, "you guys should try baseball" or "Wilson couldn't coach his way out of a paper bag." More gems like that.

Don't know why these guys couldn't have stuck with classic staples like, "you suck" or "get off your knees ref you're blowing the game." If you are going to be the one guy from your section that is labeled "the chirper" you need to bring your A game and most importantly you need to make the people in your section laugh. If you throw out 3 chirps and don't get 1 laugh then you it is a sign you need to shut up.

Lastly there was the pair of teenagers who cheered everything. They were cheering when the semi-hot chick came out to sing the national anthems. They yelled during the national anthem. They cheered when the puck dropped, when Raptors head coach Jay Triano was introduced, every hit, every save, every shot, when the kiss cam came up and when Curtis Joseph was introduced.

Sidenote: When they introduced Joseph the place went crazy. At first I was confused but then it all made sense. I was at a Toronto Maple Leafs game so of course the fans would go crazy for mediocrity.

Joseph played for the Leafs for 4 seasons. He went to the playoffs in all 4 of those seasons but he never won anything. No Stanley Cups and no Vezina trophies. He was a good/really good goalie at best and yet he gets cheered like he was Johnny Bower.

I am all for showing the guy respect but it really speaks to the current state of the Leafs franchise when they cheer a guy for 4 minutes straight just because he played 4 seasons for them and got them to the playoffs.

These two kids cheered for everything all game and were so pumped. I am all for cheering stuff like big hits, saves and goals but cheering for the kiss cam and every time there is a shot is a little strong.

People like this are one of the main reasons live sporting events can suck. If the people around you are annoying then you aren't going to enjoy the game as much. It's just like a movie. If people are talking the whole time then you can't concentrate on what's happening and you won't enjoy the movie as much.

In hindsight I probably just should have gotten wasted but then again I don't have the money to be paying for beers when they are $14 a cup.

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