Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dirk Nowitzki is the new Cottonelle

Yes it is official, Dirk Nowitzki is officially soft.  Not only is he soft but he in fact wicked soft.  He is 7 feet 245lbs of German softness.  

The superstar forward for the Dallas Mavericks has always been criticized for his lack of physical play but so far in these 2009 NBA Playoffs he has taken his softness to a whole new level.  During game 1 of the Nuggets/Mavericks series Dirk was thrown to the floor hard by Kenyon Martin and of course did nothing about it.  He simply laid on the court like a broad and waited to be helped up by teammates.

For his part in the incident Martin was fined $25,000 while Nowitzki was offered a spokesman deal by both Charmin and Downy (sources say he is leading towards Downy).  

Now the writing of this article could be seen as blowing the incident out of proportion but when you look at the impact this will no doubt have on the series it becomes a much more crucial event.

Before I continue it is crucial to point out that this physical altercation occurred during an NBA basketball game. In basketball, and especially the NBA, fighting is not allowed and before anything can happen there are 8 players and 2 referees jumping in and actively separating the 2 participants.  What this does is allow anyone, anyone at all, the opportunity to act tough and stand up to a person they would normally cower from.

I mean if Shaq threw me to the floor and I knew that no matter what within seconds people were going to be holding me back I would get up and shove him and probably call him a few words I wouldn't use around my grandmother.  Why not?  It's not as if he can do anything about it or else he might get ejected or suspended.

So in this case instead of laying on the ground like Ricky Hatton did on Saturday night Dirk should have gotten up and got in the face of Martin to show that he would not be intimidated and that he wasn't going to back down. Howver he instead chose to lay there and look like a huge [insert slang word for cat] as Martin looked down on him.

Now to make matters worse Nowitzki then went and complimented Martin on his defense during a pregame interview tonight before game 2.  He claimed that Martin played a physical style of defense that made scoring difficult and that he did a great job in game 1.  He further went on to compliment Chirs Anderson aka the Birdman and Nene which to me is inexcusable.

You are the leader of your team and you are in the playoffs.  You are supposed to portray confidence and know that you are better than everyone on the floor.  You don't sit there and compliment the other team on their ability to shut you down.  For gods sake you won a league MVP award and are a perennial All-Star.  Guys like Kenyon Martin aren't supposed to shut you down.  You are supposed to send them messages telling them to bring their raincoats and galoshes because he is going to be raining 3s.

Look at what Martin did to David West of the New Orleans Hornets in the 1st round.  During the regular season West averaged 21 ppg and shot 47% from the field.  In the post-season, being guarded by Martin, he only averaged 18 ppg and shot 40% from the floor.  If the Mavericks want to make it to the Conference Finals they cannot afford this to happen to Dirk.

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