NFL Week 5 Thoughts

The Have Nots

Never before in the NFL have there been so many awful teams at once. There are so many bad teams it is unreal and next week there may be roughly 5 games you won't be able to bet points on in Pro Line. This week the Raiders/Giants game couldn't be touched and next week it may be the same thing all over again.

This goes far beyond the JamesCarvilleBowl which is the unofficial name for the Browns/Bills "game" on Sunday. If you ever needed a reason to buy NFL Sunday Ticket that game was it. The point is that there are so many brutal teams this year that 0-16 may be a possibility for some.

Here are the teams that I truly believe would struggle to beat Florida or Alabama of the NCAA:

Cleveland Browns: 1-4 (Got its 1 win by beating Buffalo)

Buffalo Bills: 1-4 (Got its 1 win by beating TB)

Oakland Raiders: 1-4 (Got its 1 win by beating KC)

Kansas City Chiefs: 0-5

Carolina Panthers: 1-4 (Got it 1 win by beating KC)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 0-5

St. Louis Rams: 0-5

Now I left out Tennessee (0-5) and Detroit (1-4) because both teams are competitive and have had some success losing mostly in close games. I mean the Titans are the best 0-5 team in history and the Lions only lost to the Steelers by 8 points with Dante Culpepper playing.

The point is that these teams are all terrible and will more than likely finish the season with under 9 wins combined.

Smarten Up

My biggest pet peeve about the NFL is the abundance of celebrations by players on losing teams. I love celebrations in sports. I mean the Tiger fist pump is a classic but I draw the line at celebrating while you are losing.

The specific example I am drawn to is Donnie Avery of the Rams celebrating a touchdown while his team is down 31-3. I get that he was excited that he scored a touchdown but his team is getting stomped by epic proportions and he is celebrating. Maybe if he spent more time working on his game rather than his touchdown celebrations his team wouldn't be 0-5.

The same can be said of countless other players though. Every time a fat lineman makes a tackle in the backfield they find it necessary to walk 5 yards and do either a slam gesture or a grave digging gesture. Grow up.

Jarred Allen and his stupid pose after he sacks the quarterback used to be funny but now is just annoying. Especially when he does it after turnstiling some rookie who has 0 business being in the game.

F*ck the Wildcat

Whoever brought this formation into the NFL needs to get kicked in the nuts. This thing is annoying for so many reasons:

1. Jon Gruden literally jizzes in his pants every time the Dolphins run the Wildcat

2. Chad Henne (my fantasy QB for this week) was only involved in 65% of the offensive plays tonight which limited the amount of points he could get and cost me my perfect fantasy season.

3. My Jets lost tonight because they can't stop this thing

4. #1 again. I watched almost the entire game and by the time it was done I was checking prices for flights so I could fly to Miami to kill Jon Gurden. I may even hire someone to do it.

In all seriousness though I don't understand how teams can't stop this thing. The corners do their normal thing while you bring up 1 safety to defend the run and keep 1 back to defend the pass. Everyone else plays the run. How is this complicated? 90% of the time it is a direct snap and the running back just rushed up the A gaps. Seems easy to me.

Overtime Rules Need to Change

Love the rule for Sunday because it meant Tom Brady and the Patriots lost and he isn't 7-0 in OT games anymore but in general the rule is stupid. How can you have two teams play a full game and then risk the possibility of only 1 team getting the ball in overtime? Teams have missed the playoffs because they lost the toss in overtime and it isn't right.

The problem is easily solved. Add 10 minutes and let the teams play out the whole OT. No need for sudden death. Give both teams an equal chance to have a possession and go from there. I would hate to see a team miss the playoffs or even miss out on a perfect season because of this stupid overtime rule.

Fix it.

Fantasy Goat of the Week (Player on my fantasy team "Favre $ Footlong" who blew it)

Dustin Keller and Lee Evans share the award this week as they combined for 2 catches and 11 yards. Lost my match up by 4 fantasy points because of these two douchers.

After the Bills game I traded Evans and tomorrow I will be shopping Keller.

Quick Thoughts

- Derek Anderson went 2-17 for 23 yards and had 1 INT on Sunday yet still managed to win the game. Ladies and Gentlemen your 2009 Cleveland Browns!

- JaMarcus Russell has the pocket presence of Helen Keller

- "Well, the weather's nice.'' Oakland defensive lineman Richard Seymour,asked on a conference call with New York reporters last week, "How's Oakland?''

- The Redskins have had the easiest schedule of any team in the NFL over the past 4 weeks yet are only 2-2 in that stretch. The opponents from those weeks have a combined record of 2-18.

- The injury to the patriots Matt Light is massive. If he doesn't come back this season there could be trouble in New England.

- Miles Austin had 10 catches for 250 yards and 2 TD on Sunday. Going into the game he had 23 catches for 435 yards.

- Mike Vrabel has 11 career receptions all for TDs

- Colts (5-0) and Giants (5-0) could very well meet in the SuperBowl which would be the most hyped SB in NFL history would it not? Hopefully the foot injury Eli has won't slow him down at all.

- Had a chance to go to the Browns/Bills game on Sunday as friend has season tickets. Best $160 I never spent.

- Josh McDaniels has the best fist pump in professional sports. Honestly Tiger Woods has nothing on JMD. His quadruple fist pump to the fans in front of 100 cameras after the win on Sunday was epic. Don't believe me? Check out the photographic proof:

Random YouTube Video (Not funny or related just an Amazing song)