Someone Shoot Brett Favre

Seriously can someone just kill this man so I can stop reading about him online and hearing about him on television and radio. This is getting ridiculous. He is talked about on PTI, Around the Horn, and all over Sportscenter. Not to mention that I have gone to ESPN and SI.com every day for the past 2 weeks and have seen a new Favre story.

Favre has been the focus of media attention now for two straight offseasons and it is because he can't stay retired. Last year he came out of retirement to play for the NY Jets (thanks for nothing dick) and this here after a second retirement he may come back to play for the Minnesota Vikings.

I have so many issues with this it isn't even funny.

Problem #1

Retire or play but make up your god damn mind. Favre is a grown ass man and yet he acts like a 5 year old when it comes to his career. After the 2007 season he tearfully retired from the NFL to go live on his ranch. Not even weeks later he came back saying he was "forced" into retirement by the Green Bay front office and that he wanted to play again. The drama was drawn out for months and months eventually ending with Favre being traded to the Jets.

Then after the 2008 season he retired again.

Now he is saying that he wants to come back because he thinks "he can still compete." However instead of just signing with a team he has wavered on his decision and been a douche about the whole thing keeping everyone in the dark.

Be a man and make a decision.

Problem #2

If Favre comes back it will be with the Vikings who play in the same division as the Green Bay Packers aka Favre's old team.

This is a real F you to Packers fans as the Vikings and Packers have a heated rivalry and a Packer legend like Favre wearing the Purple and Gold would be a slap in the face to Packers fans.

When most people think of the Green Bay Packers they think of Brett Favre. For the past decade, and more, he has been the face of the franchise and now he could potentially turn his back on his legions of fans just to pump the tires on his ego and play 1 more year.

Problem #3

By wavering on his decision to come back or not Favre is, whether he knows it or not, screwing over Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels. Jackson and Rosenfels are the two men currently competing for the Vikings starting quarterback job and now since Favre might come back they need to constantly be thinking about that.

They also are being forced to answer questions everyday about Favre and whether they want him to return or how they are going about their lives. Of course they both say they are going about business as usual but really this has to be immensely distracting and very annoying.

As a quarterback Favre should know that this situation is anything but ideal and he would obviously not wanted to be treated this way. The very fact that he is acting the way he is proves he is a selfish dick who is only looking out for himself.

Problem #4

Peter King is a columnist for Sports Illustrated and writes a weekly NFL column that is really insightful and entertaining. He is pretty funny and is extremely well connected around the league making his column a real joy to read. His only problem? He has a raging hard on for Brett Favre that knows no bounds.

Since I began reading Peter King's column about 3 years ago there hasn't been a single week in which he hasn't mentioned Brett Favre. In may not always be a huge paragraph but you can bet your life that Favre's name is in there somewhere.

I thought that maybe with Favre not in football King would focus on the rest of the NFL but no such luck. Favre has made it his personal mission to be in the media and with that comes the weekly BJ from King. It's truly annoying.

Problem #5

The word "gunslinger" is a word used by broadcasters and sports writers to describe quarterbacks who have exceptional arms and throw the ball hard. This is the defining word people use when talking about Favre. I hate this this word with a passion and everything that it stands for. To me when I hear a quarterback called a gunslinger all I think is that he sucks but can throw hard. It is anything but a compliment in my books.

With Favre out of the league this term would be used less and less until finally it fell out of favor but since he demands to stay in the spotlight the chances of that happening are slim to none.

I have many more problems with Favre and his whole will I, won't I act but these are just the major ones. He has gone from football legend to old guy who doesn't know when to hang it up. By continuing to retire and come back all he is doing is ruining his legacy and ensuring that people won't remember his greatness in Green Bay but will instead remember him as a NY Jet throwing picks and possibly as a Minnesota Viking being a massive traitor.

Please someone shoot Brett Favre. Wait never mind don't. It will only cause him to get more media attention.

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