An Embarrassment of Riches

Earlier this week Sports Illustrated released the 2010 Fortunate 50, a list of the top 50 North American athletes ranked by total earnings (both salary and endorsements). The Fortunate 50 is an annual article for Sports Illustrated and one of my personal favorites as seeing how much athletes actually make is always fascinating.

For instance a number of high caliber football players make less than $100,000 from endorsements. Crazy when you see that Tiger Woods managed to make $70 million from endorsements in 2010 despite all his negative media attention and lost sponsors.

My favorite thing about the Fortunate 50 is reviewing the list and seeing just how many undeserving athletes are on it and laughing at the teams that paid them their outrageous contracts. Here are just a few of the most undeserving people on the list. Keep in mind everyone of these men named are one of the 50 richest athletes in North America.

All #s are the number they ranked out of 50 on the list:

#6 Shaq

Salary - $21,000,000

Endorsements - $15,000,000

Shaquille O'Neal is the 6th richest athlete in America. Isn't that crazy? How long has it been since he was relevant in the NBA? 4 years maybe? Last year Shaq averaged 21 points per game while bringing down an average of 6.7 rebounds. He also weighed close to 500lbs and challenged CC Sabathia for 'most rolls of of rear neck fat on a professional athlete.' He played no role in Cleveland's success and couldn't help bring a championship to Cleveland. Yet he brought in a cool $36 million. It just ain't right.

Fun Fact: In terms of total salary Shaq is the NBAs all-time leader having earned more than $290 million throughout his career.

#11 Matthew Stafford

Salary - $26,900,000

Endorsements - $750,000

What does $26 million buy you in the NFL? 13 touchdowns, 20 interceptions, a quarterback rating of 61.0 (only points ahead of Jake Delhomme and JaMarcus Russell), and 2 wins. I understand he was a rookie and that he plays for the Detroit Lions but making him the 11th richest athlete before he had even thrown a pass is ridiculous. No wonder the Lions haven't been to the playoffs since Lincoln was in office.

#15 Kevin Garnett

Salary - $16,417,044

Endorsements - $10,000,000

The Big Ticket is no longer the player he once was but he still gets paid like he is the Defensive Player of the Year and not a hobbled old man who can`t hit open jumpshots and couldn`t defend a highschooler. He still managed to put up some decent stats last year but that is due solely to Rajon Rondo and teams playing slack defense on him because he is old. If you actually watched the Celtics games last year, especially in the playoffs, you saw an old man struggling with his mortality.

#16 Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Salary - $4,097,190

Endorsements - $22,000,000

Guess how many races Dale Earnhardt Jr won last year. Did you guess 0? If you did then you are correct. Now guess how many races he won the year before. Did you guess 0 again? Well correct you are. Since 2004 Junior has won a total of 3 races. How retarded is that? In 6 years he has won 3 races and yet he earned more than $26 million last year. Who is paying this loser to endorse their product? Why not get somebody with talent that isn't living off the accomplishments of their father.

#19 Terrell Suggs

Salary - $24,900,000

Endorsements - $75,000

The guy isn't even the best linebacker on his team. He is the 5th highest paid player in the NFL behind only Peyton and Eli Manning, Philip Rivers and Stafford. I like Terrell Suggs. I think he is a solid player, despite only getting 4.5 sacks last year and 59 tackles. Do I think he is worth his contract? I am sure no one but Suggs, his entourage and his baby mama thinks he is.

#22 Jermaine O'Neal

Salary - $23,016,000

Endorsements - $250,000

How does a corpse collect a paycheck? I was under the impression JO had died some time ago and that someone was pulling an elaborate Weekend at Bernie's move. O'Neal was the 2nd highest paid player in the NBA last year. Out of all the great players in the NBA only 1 person made more money than Jermain O'Neal. Go ahead and try and process that without hurting your brain.

Fun fact: The Boston Celtics just signed O'Neal to a 2-year $20 million deal. Take a moment and laugh at any Celtics fans who may be near you.

#24 Tracy McGrady

Salary - $22,483,124

Endorsements - $250,000

Say hello to the 3rd highest paid player in the NBA. Last year McGrady set new career lows in every single offensive category you can think of. He will never make it out of the first round of the playoffs and he deserves none of the money he made last year. Notice a pattern forming of crappy athletes with big salaries but no endorsements deals (except Earnhardt Jr)?

#28 Darrius Heyward-Bey

Salary - $21,430,000

Endorsements - $75,000

One of my favorite running jokes last NFL season: Darrius Heyward-Bey has more names than touchdowns. Its funny because its true. He hauled in only 1 touchdown last year which is actually impressive considering he only caught 9 passes. $21 million for 9 catches. Al Davis you are a mad man. 8th highest paid player in the NFL by the way. Chris Hudson my sympathies.

#30 Vernon Wells

Salary - $21,000,000

Endorsements - $250,000

His contract has crippled the Blue Jays since the day it was signed and will continue to do so until the day it expires. He is having a decent season this year (19 HR, 51 RBI, .272 AVG) but he has never come close to earing his historic contract and never will.

#31 Vince Carter

Salary - $16,123,250

Endorsements - $5,000,000

How much do you need to pay a guy to choke in the playoffs? If you're the Orlando Magic the answer is $16 million. Carter did exactly what everyone expected him to do last year in the Eastern Conference Finals when he bricked back to back freethrows late in Game 5. The guy is a loser and a quitter and watching him fail year after year has brought me endless joy ever since he left Toronto.

#39 Barry Zito

Salary - $18,500,000

Endorsements - $100,000

I once had a 90 minute long conversation with a friend about whether the owner of the San Fransisco Giants could get away with hiring someone to murder Barry Zito. After we established that he probably would get away with it we started debating how he should do it and how even if he got caught he would be praised by every single Giants fan on the planet.

#40 DeAngelo Hall

Salary - $18,500,000

Endorsements - $75,000

At one time Hall was thought to be the next great corner. Then he left Atlanta and the comfort of a dome for Oakland and was discovered to be a fraud. He is still a serviceable corner in the NFL and has had a bit of a rebirth in Washington but the fact that he is making $18 million is indefensible.

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Who Killed George Steinbrenner?

Last week New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner died due to a massive heart attack, or so we are supposed to believe. I on the other hand think that there was some serious foul play involved. Here are my list of suspects:

Suspect #1 - Bill Madden

Bill Madden is a well known sportswriter and the author of Steinbrenner: The Last Lion of Baseball which is a biography piece on George Steinbrenner. The book was released in mid June and received mediocre reviews from a number of publications and seemed as though it was destined to be lumped in with all the other sports books on the shelves at Chapters that eventually get marked down to $6.99. I read the book and there isn't anything particularly groundbreaking about it. In fact 95% of the content can be found on Steinbrenner's wikipedia page.

However since Steinbrenner died Madden's name has been popping up everywhere as he was the last person to write about Steinbrenner and thus the last person to sit down with the Yankees owner and do an interview. The sales numbers for the book have also risen considerably and now that Steinbrenner is dead Madden can release a paperback edition with an afterword about the owner's death. A serious windfall is in the cards for Mr. Madden all due to the death of George Steinbrenner

So where was Bill Madden on July 13th? Was he on a book signing tour or was he at the home of George Steinbrenner murdering one of the icons of American sports? Things to consider.


Suspect #2 - The 1991 Denver Broncos

They were a suspect in the 'Who is Eric Cartman's father?' case and have been under constant suspicion since.


Suspect #3 - George Steinbrenner

Heart attack or suicide? Maybe Steinbrenner killed himself/isn't actually dead in order to achieve the 'Michael Jack effect' or MJE as its known around the globe. The MJE is what occurs when a celebrity who was a terrible person passes away and is only remembered for the good they did.

When Michael Jackson died everyone focused on his impact on the music industry all the while ignoring the fact he molested young boys his whole life.

Steinbrenner could have easily done the same thing. He was a an awful person most of his life as he tortured his employees and dragged countless players through the mud out of spite. He even went as far as to hire a man to dig up dirt on Dave Winfield so he could sue him and discredit his charitable foundation. Yet all everyone is focusing on is how he did whatever it took to win and how he changed baseball forever.

No one wants to mention that he was kicked out of baseball on two separate occasions, once for the Winfield incident and the other for being heavily involved in the Watergate scandal and then lying about it. Stienbrenner was a pretty shitty guy but now no one will ever talk about that. He will go down in sports history as the man that changed baseball forever due to his free spending ways.

Maybe Steinbrenner's heart didn't explode. Maybe he is down in Miami sipping Pina Coladas with LeBron and 2pac. Just a theory.


Suspect #4 - Hank/Hal Steinbrenner

The sons of the former owner managed to avoid New York federal estate taxes because their father died six months after the tax expired. Because of this the two men were able to save over $500 million and were able to keep the Yankees.

Now you may be saying 'why would they kill him if his continued life allowed them to keep their money?' Simple answer: with the money secured they could kill their father and gain full control of the most storied franchise in North American sports and live like kings. They could also use their new ownership roles to sell the team and make billions something that could not happen if George were alive.

Think that's a stupid answer then check this out. If George had died in 2011 instead of 2010 then the estate tax would have gone up to $600 million rather than $500 million. Therefore there was only a 12 month window in which George Steinbrenner could die and not financially cripple his family.

Hank and Hal obviously knew this fact and may have concocted this whole heart attack story in order to avoid suspicion.

Would you kill your 80 year old father for $600 million? Cause Hank and Hal Steinbrenner might have.


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Missing the Big Picture

On Wednesday the Toronto Blue Jays traded shortstop Alex Gonzalez and a couple of prospects to the Atlanta Braves for their shortstop Yunel Escobar and JoJo Reyes. I for one thought this was a great trade by the Jays but all I have heard so far from Jays fans is anger over Gonzalez being traded.

To them I have only one thing to say: You're missing the big picture.

Yes Escobar is currently hitting .238 with 0 HRs and 19 RBI but he is a young player with lots of potential and he happens to be a career .291 hitter. He doesn't strike out a lot and has shown that he does posses a little power (14 HRs last season). He isn't as solid as Gonzalez defensively but he has a lot of upside and is one of the better young shortstops in baseball.

The Blue Jays have always been weak at shortstop for as long as I can remember. Think of the revolving door of players that have been through Toronto over the past few seasons: Marco Scutaro, Russ Adams, Royce Clayton, John McDonald, Frank Menechino David Eckstein and Nick Green to name a few. Now the Jays have a legitimate shortstop who will bring some stability to the position.

As for Gonzalez he served his purpose perfectly. The Jays signed him to a relatively cheap deal in the off-season and were able to flip him for a real asset. He is a career .248 hitter that is having a career year at the age of 33. Yeah he has hit a lot of home runs but other than that he hasn't done much. His OBP is only .298 and he doesn't steal bases. He is a one dimensional hitter that either hits a bomb or doesn't hit it at all.

What Anthopolous was able to do is what all GMs aspire to do with guys they sign on 1 year deals. They want that player to have a solid first half so they can flip that player for assets at the deadline. The Jays obviously aren't going to contend this year so they traded a guy who can help a contender right now for a player that will help them going forward.

Don't think Anthopolous is done either. If John Buck and Jose Bautista finish the season on the Blue Jays roster I will be shocked. Both players are producing right now and having career years. The Jays will hope that a couple of teams will need help around the trade deadline so they can acquire even more pieces to help rebuild the team.

Buy low and sell high it is a simple concept yet many Jays fans are struggling to understand it.

Another part of this deal people seem to be unaware of is that the Jays recently signed Cuban defector and reported shortstop jedi 22 year old Adeiny Hechavarria. From everything I've read Hechavarria is unreal and will be the Jays shortstop in a couple of years. So Escobar will be the place holder until that time and then he will be moved over to 3rd base. I mean it's not as if Edwin Encarnacion is blowing peoples minds right now.

So calm down Jays fans and try and look beyond this year and the current stats of the two principles involved in the deal. The Jays simply traded a guy that was no doubt gone at the end of the year anyway for a comparable player that is 5 years younger and gets on base more. It was a solid trade that needed to occur.

Then again the Jays will never make the playoffs again so it doesn't really matter what they do right?

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Dumb Money

While the focus of this summers NBA free agency period has been on LeBron James and the Miami Heat teams not involved in the LeBron Sweepstakes were busy giving away over-sized contracts like candy. In one day Darko Milicic, Drew Gooden, Channing Frye and Amir Johnson signed for a combined $114 million. Madness.

General Managers seem to be throwing money at just about everybody and although many people are convinced there will be a lockout next year guys are still getting paid big bucks for their mediocre talent.

Here are just a few of the brutal contracts that were handed out since NBA free agency officially kicked off on July 1st.

Case #1 Darko Milicic, Minnesota Timberwolves, 4-years for $16 million

The Human Victory Cigar was the #2 overall pick in the 2003 draft and will no doubt go down as one of the biggest busts in NBA history. The Pistons selected Milicic 2nd ahead of Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony and Chris Bosh and haven't stopped kicking themselves since.

Since he was drafted he has played for 5 different teams (Pistons, Magic, Knicks, Grizzlies and now the Timberwolves) and has been a disappointment everywhere he's been. To see he is awful would be like saying Rachel Bilson is decent looking. Dude sucks ass.

For his career he is averaging a pathetic 5.6 PPG, 4.1 RPG, and 0.8 APG. Also I can't forget to mention he is a 58.6% career free-throw shooter. Yet he somehow managed to get himself a contract where he would be earning $4 million a year.

Maybe Milicic has some compromising photos of Timberwolves GM David Kahn because how else could this have happened?

Case #2 Drew Gooden, Milwaukee Bucks, 5-years for $32 million

Gooden is a decent enough player but he is a 28 year old headcase that has played for 8 teams over the past 8 seasons. How is that not a red flag? Last year he played for the Clippers and this off-season they were all too happy to see him go. If the Clippers don't want a guy then you shouldn't either because they will literally sign anybody.

However the biggest reason I don't like this deal is because of the team that signed him. Last season the Bucks were a mediocre team until they brought in John Salmons midway through the season. Salmons brought some energy and a scoring touch to a team that ended the season strong and looked like a darkhorse going into the playoffs. Then Andrew Bogut blew out his knee and the season was lost.

The reason the Bucks were so successful was because they had balance and solid chemistry. Bringing in a guy like Gooden is going to upset that chemistry and in the end will hinder the team. Dude rocks a beard on the backof his head. He can only be bad news.

Case #3 Amir Johnson, Toronto Raptors, 5-years for $34 million

This deal really pissed me off. Johnson was signed last year to a 1-year deal worth less than $1 million. His role was that off a bench player who could be brought in and provide some energy and a defensive boost. He filled that role admirably and endeared himself to Raptors fans with his gritty play and likable personality. I loved Amir Johnson.

But for $6.8 million a season I hate him.

Here is a guy who came into the league right out of high school and managed to make no impact. His best season was last year where he put up 6.2 PPG and grabbed 4.8 RPG. He is a solid bench guy but he is not a replacement for Chris Bosh. He is not worth almost $7 million a year. I understand Raptors GM Brian Colangelo was under pressure to sign someone after Bosh declared he was leaving but this was a panic move.

Johnson played well at the end of last year when Bosh was hurt but a strong performance over 7 games shouldn't merit a contract of this size. Raptors fans will look back at this deal and label it as one of the many moves what will eventually cost Colangelo his job.

Case #4 Joe Johnson, Atlanta Hawks, 6-years for $123.7 million

Hard to believe that out of all the big name free agents out there Joe Johnson walked away with the biggest contract. His decision to re-sign with the Hawks was great for his wallet but not for his trophy case as his contract will make it hard for the Hawks to bring in any more talent to try and compete with the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference.

Unlike the other players on this list Johnson is very talented and deserving of a big contract but his skills don't merit $20 million per year. No team is winning an NBA Championship with Joe Johnson as their best player. In fact ESPN columnist Bill Simmons summed it up perfectly when he wrote, "Atlanta offered Joe Johnson $120 million to thank him for leading the Hawks to a four-game sweep in Round 2 in which they were outscored by 25 points per game.)

Thanks Mr. Simmons.

Case # 5 Travis Outlaw, New Jersey Nets, 5-years for $35 million

No that is not a typo, Travis Outlaw actually found a team willing to give him $7 million a year to 9.5 PPG and sit on the sidelines in street clothes due to an injury. Outlaw has been in the league for 7 years and has played more than 67 games only twice. He averages 57 games a year and has never lived up to his potential.

Granted he is only 25 years old but I just don't see him breaking out for a big season in New Jersey. The silver lining here is that the Nets owner is a Russian Billionaire who probably spends $35 million a year on vodka, caviar and hookers.

Did I mention he shoots less than 40% from the floor and doesn't pass, rebound or play defense?

Case # 6 Amare Stoudemire, New York Knicks, 5-years for $100 million

Speaking of guys that don't pass, rebound or play defense how about Amare Stoudemire! The Knicks told their fans for the past 2 years to be patient and wait until the summer of 2010 when LeBron James would join the team and save them from irrelevancy.

That didn't happen so Donnie Walsh went out and got an injury prone forward who's solid career offensive numbers are due solely to Steve Nash. Without Nash on his team Stoudemire is sure to be a bust. Who on that Knicks team is going to pass him the ball? Their team doesn't have a true point guard and opponents will be able to double Amare because no one else on the team is an offensive threat.

How many games do you think it will take before Amare calls Steve Nash to let him know how much he misses him. My bet is during halftime of the first game.

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